Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Athletic

There's always something fun going on with me on the "Pathetic Injury" front. I've hurt my foot, and I've hurt my back. I hurt my hip. And the best part is, these stupid injuries linger. I do the exercises, I follow the instructions. Sometimes things improve but I've yet to actually "fix" anything.

I turned to P-Ziddy, my trusted emotional confidant, for some much-need solace.

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Jeff: So, I went to an orthopedic doc this morning, had him look at my tricky hip. Diagnosis... Bursitis on the side, lower-back pinched nerve likely affecting the backside.

Jeff: He gave me a cortisone shot. Hurts like #### right now. Wowie.

P-Ziddy: You didn't really WANT to sit down today, did you?

Jeff: I find it amusing though, just how many of these various doctors I've been going to are Sports Medicine guys. My chiropractor has worked on at least one NFL player. This guy specializes in athletic injuries. Podiatrist sees a lot of track n' field runners.

Jeff: I feel like I'm lowering their averages by quite a bit.

P-Ziddy: Definitely.

Jeff: And I love how much effort you put into sparing my feelings there, too.

P-Ziddy: LOL

Jeff: The guy today suggested an MRI for my back, but we'll go with less invasive / expensive options for the moment.

P-Ziddy: My MRI was like 45 minutes long. Of course, it was on my head.

P-Ziddy: It was like someone slid a metal barrel over my head, but with less room.

P-Ziddy: And then beat on it for an hour with a hammer.

Jeff: They'd prolly want me to lay on my back in this tube thing, and the pain is in an area where I can't lay on my back.

P-Ziddy: Maybe they'll want you to lay on your stomach?

P-Ziddy: Or just hop up and down while they wave a laser pointer over you.

Jeff: Bad foot. Can't hop, either.

P-Ziddy: I'm sorry... Spin your wheel chair around on one wheel while they wave a laser pointer at you.

Jeff: Carpel Tunnel symptoms in one wrist. I prolly can't manage the wheelchair spin, either.

P-Ziddy: How are you still breathing at this point?

P-Ziddy: I swear Stephen Hawking could beat you in a foot race.

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