Thursday, November 08, 2007

Dr. Phil Mc-Pseudo-Celeb

Watch yourself, punk.While I was out to lunch one day last week, I saw a Dr. Phil McGraw look-alike.

It was a bit traumatic. First, he challenged my manhood by suggesting that I've never been injured playing college football (Obviously true, but the accusation still stung). He mocked my hair, saying "Bald is beautiful, you hopeless dork. Nyah!" Finally, he tossed my chicken sammich on the floor, stepped on it, and shouted, "How's that workin' for ya?"

Actually, none of that happened. He just sat quietly at a nearby table, looking all wise and blunt.

Still, I count it as a close call.

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History of sightings:
John Ratzenberger.
John Belushi.
Charlie Chaplin.
Sammy Davis Jr.
Sherlock Holmes.
Carol O'Conner.
Charles Barkley.
Hurley.
Al Sharpton, Hurley (again), Santa.
  Drew Barrymore, John Cleese, Richard Simmons, Amanda Plummer, Jack Black.
Rainn Wilson.
Cousin Itt, Corpse Bride.
Samuel L. Jackson, Dick Cheney.
Emma Thompson.
Selma Blair, Wolf Blitzer.
Michelle Ryan

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